What do you think of when you hear the advice “give thanks”?
I imagine a parent telling their kid to say thank you to someone who just gave them a gift. “Look, Peter, they have a lollipop for you. Say, ‘Thank you.’” “Thank you.” Or: “Your grandpa sent you a birthday gift in the mail, you should call him to say thank you.”
Thanksgiving in such situations is something said, even prompted by command. It’s not mainly something felt in the heart, it’s instead “the right thing to do.”
Now, I don’t think it’s wrong to say thanks like this, especially since it can create habits of thanksgiving (I tell my kids to say “thank you” like that all the time). But if we mainly think of thanksgiving (or “gratitude” or “gratefulness”) in this way, it will lead us to be very mistaken in understanding what thanksgiving, both biblically and experientially, actually is. And in misunderstanding it, we will fall short of striving for the thanksgiving that more fully glorify God.
Why Lip Service Glorifies God Little
Think of it this way: Commanded lip service glorifies little. How appreciated does the giver of the lollipop feel hearing the child’s “thank you” if they just witnessed the parent force their kid to say it? Or how honored would the grandpa feel if he found out that the only reason the grandchild was calling was because he was forced to? Or to add a third situation: How admired would a spouse feel if they got you a gift and although you said “thank you,” they could tell that you felt no happiness at all? The answer to each: Not much honor or “glory.” Such lip service isn’t much of a glorifying thankfulness.
But what if genuine feelings of joy are involved in the thankfulness? What if the child expresses their happiness about the lollipop in the “thank you”? Or what if the kid so loves the birthday gift that he naturally and happily calls grandpa? Or what if you are ecstatics about your spouse’s gift that you blurt out “thank you”? Now what does the “thank you” communicate? Honor. Real “glory,” if you will. True thanks.
Our Thankfulness to God
The same goes for us and God. There is a type of thanksgiving that genuinely glorifies God, but it’s not merely or mainly lip service. Rather, it’s a heart-felt “thank you.”
The goal for us as Christians when we hear the Bible talk about thanksgiving is not just to say “thank you” to God for who he is and what he’s blessed us with. If we stop there, we’re like the parent-commanded kid receiving the lollipop—God isn’t much glorified in such heartless lip service. The goal instead is to feel it in our hearts—to look at our God, at who he is and what he’s done for us, and genuinely in our hearts feel “thank you” (and yes, then often say it, too).
How Do We Strive for Such God-Glorifying Thankfulness? 2 Steps
You may say, “That’s all well and good. But how do we do this?” And that’s a great question: How do we aim to achieve such God-glorifying thanksgiving? How do we feel thankful? If we want to be very practical, two steps might help us.
1. Recognize His Many Gifts
First, we recognize the many gifts God has given us. Primarily, we look to the gospel. But secondarily, we also look to the various gifts he gives us in life. We serve a totally controlling, gift-giving God—all things are according to his will (Ephesians 1:11; Romans 11:36), and he is the giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). Therefore, we can begin our hunt for God-glorifying thanksgiving feelings by excavating in detail all there is to be thankful for…And there’s a lot.
2. Think Until Thanks
But then second, in order to strive to feel thankful, we need to then take these hunted things and think on them over and over. Why? So that we can begin to feel.
This seems to be the part of thanksgiving we often miss—leading us to feeling little to no genuine thankfulness in our hearts, and allowing us to mistake lip service for true gratitude (and teaching our kids the same). If we think that thankful feelings will spring up on their own, we’re usually misguided. Sometimes God does grant us to feel right away, but most of the time our hearts follow our heads.
Take being thankful for the gospel, for example. We can try to think quickly about the gospel and then muster up feelings of thankfulness; or we can think of the gospel and recite a lip-service “thank you.” But if we really want to feel it, we must use our minds: We consider deeply what it means that we are sinners deserving of hell. We dwell on the grace of God in how Jesus, although God himself, humbled himself to die in pain and shame on the cross in our place. We dwell on what it means that our sins are truly removed from us, drowned in the sea of God’s grace. We meditate on what it means that we are freely loved and in God’s family—and in the list could go on. In all of these, as we think more and more, we (by God’s grace) begin to feel more and more.
As we think, we begin to truly give thanks.
Thankfulness that Supremely Glorifies God
And this, in sum, is the thankfulness that supremely glorifies God. Is there something to be said for the lip-service, dutiful “thank you”? You tell me: Is there something to be said about a man saying “thank you” to his wife when he feels nothing? Sort of. On one hand, at least he says it. But we’d all agree: That is far from ideal.
True thanksgiving is a matter of the heart (Psalm 138:1). It’s us recognizing God’s gifts and, like the boy who just received a birthday gift he truly loves, feeling thankful. The expression, then, will come.
May we strive for such thankfulness this Thanksgiving, for both God’s glory and our heart-felt joy.
